Festive season that i may not celebrate.

Well, it's the midnight, before dawn of the day which reunion dinner is held. Last year's today, later in the day, there was a fireworks display at my house in Jakarta. Yes, it was good, where the whole family gathered. Warmth was what i felt. This Lunar New Year, i felt rather empty, cold, and not excited over it. I didn't get any new shoes, simply bought two bottoms, a Sanctus Jeans. Despite spending a bomb of over $600 on 6 tops? I still cannot get into the mood.

I have been feeling rather stressed lately. Ensuring my focus over studies, and how are the people around me doing. That may explain my short-tempered self this few weeks.

I dislike to see people getting out of hand, especially someone who i feel important. Whoever, they should know, i have been treating him coldly this few days, which i know i could have cared less. Somewhat i thought of my parent's expectations of me, which i feel can make me a big person. Real big!

The values that was instilled into our "cell system" should run in the blood. What we the younger generations feel as traditional. Nevertheless, they shape what i am today, and to some extent, we should follow them.

I look to my mum as an inspiration of wisdom; she said, "never misuse the trust that someone gives you"

I interpreted this sentence as giving me a room of freedom, but i still have to exercise self control and limitation. In which failure to do so, all the space that was granted will be crunched. Learn to live through the loopholes, and not directly break the rule. Parents do hate to be deceived, and nights like this should be spent together, with ones who are closest to you, and not in a place deemed as improper. I hope this post will sort of make you guys understand where I'm coming from. Brother's i do care for you guys man...