Chemistry A'level P2

Hell! The paper was "un-typical". I don't see any "trend" question anymore! So fucked up it was, and plus a few careless mistakes. I will say! Oh shit! So there goes my stronger subject. Honestly, i rather leave this feb for AUS. And by now, i would have been on my way to Uni which starts next year Feb? Argh!

Mama tried to encourage me. The way i like it: She looked at my palm, and said "Your study line is long, you'll achieve academic success!"

Yeah, all of us knew it. My dad a few weeks ago, told me," i've never seen you unmotivated in academics before. You are not a stupid child!" So it's not a matter of whether "can i?" anymore! It's more of "do i want it?"

But i guess it's too late to salvage. I've again wasted another year. I will not waste anymore of such. I kinda don't care what's the outcome of this anymore.

"Julius is not efficiently allocating his resources, thus causing a market failure. The people around him (society) values an additional unit of education consumed more than the marginal cost to consume an additional unit of it! Hence, causing a net welfare loss and divergence between the marginal societal benefit and marginal private benefit, incurring a marginal external cost; cost incurred to third parties, not involved in Julius' education. Due to this, the people around him will be better off if he focus and consume more education."

Midst of A' levels examination.

Well, i waited for this A' Level exams for 3 years already. Last year, i will be bluffing my way through the paper. Maybe, i don't know. I got no confidence of myself at all last year. Well, the exams has not gone as smooth sailing as i would expect. Even though honestly, i feel the paper aren't hard at all. Really.

But i am prepared for a disappointment. Maybe not. I really really want a good enough grade to enter to a good enough University. But i guess, i just screwed some things up in one or two parts of the paper. Which i don't wish to talk about. Because once i leave the hall and reflect, i know how to do the questions! And i did it wrongly. The guilt, 3 years, wasted youth, and it's not at all happy route to take. Hey, i began to really regret, why hadn't i choose a Polytechnic instead? I would be far far better off. It's no use regretting. I just hope for the best.

Words of consolation: worst come to worse, i restart my life in a new place, where no one knows my past. No one will know i was a repeat student who still cannot do well, despite the extra years.

But still, i can't forgive myself if i do poorly. Never...

First match of the long waited A division.

At last! I'm a player in the school team! I sound so pathetic, without a competition school jersey. Now i got one! Today is the first match for Pioneer. An easy pick. MJC, should have the weakest standings in the grouping.

Still we didn't start well. We were trailing in the first quarter, chased back in the second. Screwed the third quarter. Thank god, all the pieces connected in the last quarter which give us a comfortable margin. I bet Mrs Loh almost had a cardiac arrest.

Played like shit in the second quarter. When coach put me in for a while, then benched me. Crap!!! But surely, i was part of the reason that allowed us to pull the lead. I was contented with my "good help defense" today. Scored 0, rebounded 2, assist 1, denials and forced a turnover, a couple... :D

Next we will play JJC. We scouted their play, and sort of, strong. On paper, they will be a close fight, but they fared RI quite well, managed to lead for a quarter before being killed off. Stop thinking they are strong! Work, and do your part really well! It will turn out well.

Competition phase

Defeating a couple of schools in friendlies don't mean anything. Sometimes planting hopes too high may be a flop. Last year, hopes are high, but what's the point? PJ team condition drooped nearing the competition. There seemed to be a lost in the goals.

This year, maybe it will be a record new number of J1s in the team. But it's different. I am certain i will be a part of the real fight. I made my role more clear now. What am i playing as. Not really that supportive, but again, i feel defense is still my edge. Offensive wise, i have calmed down a lot and i feel more confident.

Schedule is confirmed. MJC, DHS, JJC the RI. I speculate an escalating difficulty. Which may be good. If you beat the first 3, we'll be on a higher roll. Teamwork and communication is the areas where i want to see more improvements in. Also physical wise. Technically, i think we're adequately equipped. The pressure is on. Time to step up the pressure...

Chem-o-theraphy, Physic-o-logy, Econ-know-me and Mat-the-matrix.

Okay, look like some "chimology" words, but they sound familiar. They are not a new subject that i will be learning, but do i need to tell you what they are? I guess not.

Yes, it's March, and i have just ended my Common Test. So last year i was quite "emo" with not getting to the team and so, i wasted much of the holidays. This time as there's no YOG, the A division match is back to it's original place.
FYI: Last year's competitions started march, which is supposed to be in the Aprils

This year i guess i will fare better. As you know i have worked a lot to strengthen my Organic Chemistry and has gained a bit of success here and there. So u won't be expecting a U for it. Physics, i should do well, cause the paper is rather similar to last year's. Economics, should be better cause i have a better grasp on my concept. Math, i didn't even try to pass the paper, so "U"!

Whatever is the outcome, i am determined to continue working harder. Leave Singapore at least with a cert! Not empty handed.

苦口良药

How many times have you come across a mirror to your personality? Someone who knows you well, and without doubt whose words mean well to you? I have a couple of those friends, and by default, parents are one of them.

Dad went to HK this week, for some gem auction stuff, he haven't tell me about it. Yet his superstitious side showed up. Again he went to a fortune teller. Let's just talk about me. The fortune teller actually said I am smart (as usual) but a pity!(What is this?!) A pity I am too arrogant? Is that the correct word for 骄傲? It's an arrow through my heart.

True... I cannot deny that. Just this few days I notice myself being in the lime light for a couple of stuff. Firstly bball, showed an improvement in my performance in Malaysia and I am even more certain of my value to the team. Secondly, a couple of my results that have been pretty good which show I'm improving.

I come to realise that this nature of mine has been the one hindering me. Have you heard of "to be an effective learner, you have to start from scratch" means, to put away your knowledge so that you can earnestly learn, not assume that you know. This way I believe I can improve more. Put aside that ego of yours, cus it will lead you no where.

I used to think that I have an edge over the rest this year, because I am repeating. And because I am repeating, I now realise I have to work harder, to retain my advantage which apparently is fading off. I have to regroup. Be the softspoken guy, whom I wanted to be at the beginning if my JC life...

Post CNY

Hey... CNY is over, and i feel myself being glutton. Lol! Kidding. Anyway, i am sick now. Was caught up with an infected throat. Then now, my nose runs like there's no tmr! Jeez... Got to recover as soon as i can...

Well, March holidays is next next next week. So it means that common test is a month a way. Oh my papa... Hahah... Still getting in my nerves. But i should be more prepared now. Hahha... I will do as well as i can.

Heard the opening match of A div will be 4th or 5th april. Crap... And i'm embarking on a sports trip to M'Sia KL next friday. Be back on Sunday. I guess the 12 will be disclosed then. No one knows who's in the 12. It all depends on the performance in malaysia i guess. Strong contenders around.

Still planning to buy new phone. But settled with blackberry at last. Think can live around with the battery that people say is weak, strange. There's a mixture of feedback. Nonetheless, if there is a good enough touch phone, i will re consider my choice. Think 4g is off my choice.

My cousins are away in Jakarta, could be enjoying, could be bored. I just miss my dad's car. That G class. Man, it's a good feeling driving that car, like you're commanding the road. :D

Anyway the :) is not an impostor. Hahaha... Still my baby tagging.

Soe's bday is round the corner. Bernette's too i think...